R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
