Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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