If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
