the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
