Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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