R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
