nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
