I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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