Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
