we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize