You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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