Hey man sorry I got all grabby
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
