Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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