this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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