i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
