A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
then he tried to convert me to islam
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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