I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize