i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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