shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
