I molested 6 butterflies tonight
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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