its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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