I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
