Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
