Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
