is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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