Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
