Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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