I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
