elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
