He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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