It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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