Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
