i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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