I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
