You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
