The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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