he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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