I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
