There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
