You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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