belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
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