Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
