What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
