His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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