Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
