then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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