im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
