Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
