Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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