you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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