saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
