dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We don't watch enough power rangers
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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