that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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