the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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