george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
BRING THE BAGELS
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
