So drunk its hurt
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I need a beard to bite.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
