And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize