a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
