I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
