I didn't shave. On purpose
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
