Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
