i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
