I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
