I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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