He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
