eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he was CRYING into my vagina
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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