Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
