What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
