Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
