we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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