I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
