yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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