i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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