you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
