My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
