I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He better not be in your backpack
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
